


Breathe me

by Semievil66



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Avengers - Freeform, Captain America - Freeform, Captain America/reader - Freeform, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff, Gen, M/M, Steve Rogers x Reader - Freeform, Steve Rogers/ reader - Freeform, reader - Freeform, relationship, steve rogers - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-04-13
Updated: 2015-04-16
Packaged: 2018-03-22 17:25:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,831
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3737299
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Semievil66/pseuds/Semievil66
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You can't fall asleep and you start thinking of how you met Steve. You start to feel bad and he's there to comfort you.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Shaking

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, so this is my very first story. I tried to make it ambiguous enough that men and women could be in the relationship with him since it's always hard to find m/m reader with Steve Rogers. If you guys like it and I get that far, I'll probably make it a male male relationship. I'm open to criticism and input. Thinking of making multiple chapters so let me know what to improve and maybe what you guys want to see.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You can's sleep and you start thinking back to how you met Steve. You start to feel bad and Steve is there to comfort you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, so this is my very first story and chapter. I'm open to criticism and input. Thinking of making multiple chapters so let me know what to improve and maybe what you guys want to see. I promise the later chapters will get better as I get more practice.

You open your eyes again after another failed attempt at getting yourself to sleep. Looking over at the clock, you mentally curse at it for telling you that it's almost 3:30 in the morning. But that quickly fades away as you feel a familiar arm around your waist, the even pace of his chest on your back as he breathes.  
Slowly turning over as to not wake up the gentle sleeper, you look up at Steve's face. A smile takes over your lips as you watch his peaceful expression, his hair tussled, lips slightly parted. You start to think back to how you met, Director Fury assigning you to be a part of his team. You were only in SHIELD a year at that point and were extremely nervous, but Steve knew how to calm you down. From there, your relationship started to slowly bloom. Almost painfully slow, with him being modest and you extremely shy. Yet, the past six months have been some of the best you've ever had.  
A sudden, familiar feeling sets in as you think about how amazing he is. You know it well, all the insecurities that some how always show up when you feel close to someone. That gnawing feeling of not being good enough for him. You don't even realize it, but you feel the warm stream of tears on your cheeks. You close your eyes tight, trying to stop it, clenching them shut, hoping that it all goes away.  
"Hey (y/n), what's wrong?"  
You're surprised at the voice, thinking you've been quiet this whole time.  
"You're shaking and crying! What's wrong?" Steve asks  
The concern in his voice is evident and a sudden rush of guilt fills you, making you feel even worse. You slowly even out your breathing, trying to stop the shaking.  
"It's-it's nothing honey, g-go back to sleep" you stutter, trying your best to convince him to leave it alone.  
"Hey, babe, really, you can tell me anything" he says, his hand caressing your arms, soothing you to feel him. And you know he's not just saying it, you've been able to trust him with so much more, but you feel guilty, like a burden on him.  
"It's just..." you trail off, looking up to see his clear blue eyes looking down, focusing on you with concern. "It's stupid emotional stuff."  
"Well if it's stupid, hopefully you don't mind telling me about it," a weak smile on his face as he tries to gently coax you to talk.  
You take a deep, uneven breath. "Well, I was thinking about how we met on that mission and how nervous I was to work with you because of how amazing you are." You can feel a little panic as you feel yourself opening up to him about stuff you've never told anyone before. "It, I don't know, it still feels like you're this amazing man and I'm not enough for you." You search his face for a response, seeing his brows furrow.  
"I don't know if I fully get it, but I want to. I can tell this isn't easy, but can you tell me about it" he says gently, and you know he's being sincere in his desire to understand  
"Yeah," your voice catching in your throat, feeling as if it's being held back "there's a lot of reasons from over the years, but I've never felt good enough, for other people and myself. And I always find it hard to, I don't know, I guess trust others. Knowing how amazing you are and that you're a hero on top of that, I feel like I'm not good enough for you." You look down from his face, not focusing on anything in particular, your eyes tearing up, you quietly say "You can do so much better than me."  
You feel him wipe always some of the tears that slid down your cheek with his hand, "You are so much more than I ever expected. And so much better."  
Looking up at him, you see a warm smile on his face, and you can't help but return it. He goes on "(Y/n). I can't imagine you being any better than you are right now." The usual tug of doubt starts to disappear, as you knowingly trust him.  
You rest your head on his chest. "I'm sorry I woke you like this and dumped all of that on you. I'm so sorry Stevie."  
He just holds you, one hand rubbing your back, the other holding your head. "It's ok. I've got you. I'm glad you talked to me about it" he says quietly. You finally drift off to sleep as he cradles you, safe in his arms.


	2. Visiting hours

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You and Steve recently brought Bucky back to the tower and go to visit him on the medical floor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, thank you all for the views and support. I know I only started yesterday but I have a bunch of ideas and want to get them out.

You wake up, your eyes having to adjust to the stream of sunlight through your window. One of the many benefits of living in the Avengers Tower with Steve was its amazing views of the city. As your vision focuses, you glance over to find Steve already looking at you, smiling.  
"You seem awfully happy. What's so good?" you ask as you cuddle into his arm.  
"Watching how peaceful you look" he replies, smiling as he notices you blush.  
"Oh please, I look terrible in the morning" you giggle as you try to hide your face in his arm.  
"I beg to differ" he laughs playfully and reaches over and lifts up your face, kissing your forehead. Smiling, you kiss him back on the lips.  
"What do you wanna do today?" you ask. It was one of those rare days when neither of you had any missions or meetings to go to.  
"Well I was going to go down to medical to visit Bucky for a little bit and see how he's doing. You should come with me, he'd love to see you again." Steve visited Bucky as much as he could between missions after bringing him back from HYDRA. You went with Steve, but usually left earlier and let them talk.  
"I don't know. I wanna give you guys as much time as possible to catch up. I don't wanna be in the way" you say as you look into Steve's clear blue eyes.  
"Oh please, you could never be in the way. Plus, there's only so many times we can reminisce over the old days and tell him about my recent missions."  
"If you think he'll be ok with me there..." your voice trails off, tinged with uncertainty.  
"He'll be ecstatic" Steve smiles reassuringly. “Really, he likes having you there."   
"Ok, yeah, I'll go with you" nodding your head, setting Steve off with a child like grin.  
You both get ready before heading down to the medical floor. You put on your jeans with a black tee, a hoodie, and your favorite pair of grey converse. You smile as you watch Steve get ready, smiling at the way he looks over all of his clothes, folding them as he puts them back.  
"What's so good?" he laughs as he jokingly ask you your questions from earlier.  
Laughingly "Nothing, just find it cute when you get ready. I find it adorable." He starts blushing, making you giggle.   
He finishes getting ready "On your left" and he links an arm through yours as you both head out.  
Going down to the medical floor, you're bombarded with commotion through out the halls. You knock on Bucky's door to find him switching through the channels on the television.   
"Hey Buck, how you been?" Steve says as you both peer in from behind the door, not wanting to alarm him with sudden movements.  
"Hey Stevie, hey (Y/N)" Bucky beams at seeing you both walk in closer to his bed.  
"We missed ya, bud" Steve says, resting a hand on Bucky's shoulder.  
Steve's phone beeps with a message alert and he looks concerned as he reads it. "Hey, I'm sorry to leave as soon as we get here, but Fury just called me into a meeting and I can't say no to him. I'll be back as soon as possible you guys." He gives you quick kiss on the cheek; you blush slightly as he leaves.  
"So how you been doll?" Bucky asks and you smile as you turn around. You love the way he calls you doll, and he know it makes you feel special.  
"I've been tired but good, work's been keeping me busy."  
"That's good. I'm really glad you came, I was starting to think you didn't like me" he said, his eyes wide open, making that puppy dog face.  
"Oh, please you know I love visiting ya. How's everything with you going? Things working out with Sam?" Sam's been working with Bucky helping him with adjusting and the flashbacks. Sam said the hardest part is the nightmares and calming him down.  
"Yeah, Sam's been real good to me and real patient. He knows how hard it can be and waits out the tough parts with me. Man's a saint." He looks so relieved, and you're surprised at how such a large and strong man can look small in the bed as he talks. You can't help but hold his hand in reassurance. "He talks about you nonstop ya know."  
"What do you mean?" You furrow your eyebrows as you look at him.  
"Steve" he answers "Steve is thrilled whenever he mentions you. I've never seen him this happy. Not in a long time" Bucky's voice gets a bit somber at the end of that sentence and he holds your hand a little tighter as if there were more to that sentence.  
"Well, I have to say it's the same for me. These past few months, they've-" your voice catching "they've been incredible to be honest. And don't think he doesn't talk about you all the time either. If I didn't know any better, I'd say I have some competition" you laugh.  
He chuckles sweetly "With the way he goes on about you, I seriously doubt it doll." You laugh and look at Bucky's face, amazed at how innocent he looks.  
"What are ya thinking about? You seem real focused there" Bucky comments. You sheepishly turn red, realizing you must've been staring.  
"Nothing, just, Steve's been so happy since we found you." You smile at Bucky before adding, "he's been so much more relaxed."  
"Well I'm happy to be back, and to be home with you guys" he replies, smiling back.  
"Hope I'm not interrupting anything" Steve jokes.  
"Get in here punk" Bucky quips back. "Plus, we weren't talking about anything important, just you."  
Steve gives Bucky there version of a playful punch, which would have probably hurt a regular person. You're constantly amazed at their strength. You grab Steve around the waist from behind and he lifts his arm so your underneath it.  
"Don't let go of this one Stevie, he's one hell of a guy" Bucky looks over at you and winks.  
"I don't plan to, would never think of it" Steve bends down slightly and kisses your forehead. You love feeling him hold and kiss you, resting your head on his side.  
"If you do, I'll pick him up in a heartbeat" Bucky says, almost like a challenge.  
"Like hell you will, you're gonna have to try a lot harder than that. Plus, he has some fight in him too" Steve retorts. You put your hands up from around Steve's waist as if to throw a punch and all of you laugh.


	3. Brownie points

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve's expected back from a mission and you cook dinner for him. You have a surprise visitor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this is the 3rd chapter, but I still feel like I'm unsure if you guys like it or not, but love the support I've received so far, so thank you all for that. Let me know what you think/ what you wanna see. (Y/n) is meant for your name so you can be a part of the story.

You look over at the clock. It still says 4:17. How another minute hasn't gone by still boggles your mind. You're waiting for your brownies to come out of the oven, but even more so for Steve to walk through that door in a few hours. You decided to surprise him with dinner, figuring he'd be tired after his third mission this past month. So deep in thought, you almost didn't hear the knock at the door. Your initial excitement turns to fear, thinking something horrible happened. You cautiously open the door.  
"Hey (y/n), you ok?" Bucky asks.  
"Oh hey" relieved, but confused "aren't you supposed to be in medical?"  
"Nice to see you too doll" he chortled.  
"Sorry, come in, just didn't expect to see you" you say as you open the door and let him in.  
"Yeah, Sam suggested I start taking small walks around the tower by myself. Figured I'd come visit you and Stevie on your floor" he takes a look around, smiling at the way you and Steve decorated the place.  
"Well, I'm glad we're your first visit around the building. Steve isn't back yet unfortunately. But you're more than welcome to sit and hang out with me" smiling.  
"I'd love to doll" winking at you "what smells so good?" he asks.  
"Oh just putting together dinner for Steve" you answer as you give a pot of sauce a stir "there's plenty of food, you want some?"  
"Yeah I'd love some food. Don't get me wrong, medical has some decent food, but I haven't had a home cooked meal in a while."  
"I'm no trained chef, but I try" you laugh as you set a plate in front of him.  
"Are you sure about that?" he asks between a few large bites. "Is there anything you aren't good at?"  
"If you think that's good wait until you try one of my brownies" you smile as he enjoys the food.  
"Seriously, so let me get this straight, you not only go on missions and kick ass, but you taught yourself how to cook and bake?" he looks at you in disbelief.  
"Well, years before I even thought about joining SHIELD or got offered a position, I wanted to go to pastry school and open a bakery. You could say I got a little side tracked."  
"No kidding, that's one hell of a departure" he laughs.  
The timer for the oven goes off, signaling that the brownies were done. You shut it off, taking them out only to hear the shattering of glass on tile. You look over to see Bucky crouched on the floor, covering his ears, shaking, eyes clenched, his plate fractured on the floor. You rush over to him, careful not to get too close.  
"B-Bucky are you ok?" You knew he was having a panic attack, so you tried to be as calm and gentle as you could. "Bucky it's ok it's just me, (Y/n)."  
He looks up at you, still shaking, ears covered, breathing heavy and uneven. You can see tears starting to form as he gasps for air.  
"Please make it stop" he almost whispers, tears streaking down his face "please stop it." He's almost begging, the ringing still present to him.  
You gently put a hand on his human arm so he can feel it "It's gone Bucky" you gently rub his arm, speaking in a low tone "It's done, it's just me and you ok?"  
He starts to lower his hands, still shaking, his breathing hard and uneven. He shakes his head no.  
"I'm here for you. Here, just focus on my breathing. Breathe with me" and you start taking deep breaths in and out.  
He watches you for the first few breaths, slowly joining in and following you. His breathing starts to even out, still shaky.  
"Keep doing that and I'm going to get you some water" walking over to the kitchen. You come back to him, his body still shaking slightly. "Here Bucky drink some."  
He takes the glass, his head down, hunched over as he takes a few small sips. You can't help but feel guilty, watching him hold the glass, he looks so much smaller.  
"I'm so sorry (y/n)" he looks up at you, tears streaming down his face again "I feel terrible, scaring you like that. I'm so sorry."  
"Oh please! Bucky, you have absolutely nothing to be sorry about. You know that right?" You sit down next to him on the floor "It's ok, you did nothing wrong."  
"B-but why? Why are you staying here with me? Almost everyone else leaves scared. Sam and Steve are the only one who stay." He keeps looking up at you, eyes still dewy and sad.  
"Because I know how it feels. That feeling like everything's ending, everything is closing in on you. I have them too" you look at him, rubbing his back reassuringly.  
"Really?" He looks at you, in disbelief "I would never have- it's just... it's just that you always seem to have it together."  
"I try to have it together, but I don't force it either. Some days suck and I give into them, knowing that it's temporary."  
"Thanks (y/n)" he looks down biting his lip.  
"Anytime Bucky, I'm here for you ok. It's gonna take a lot more than that to scare me off. How about a brownie?" You ask, smiling.  
He looks up at you with a small, child like grin "That sounds great!"


End file.
